Marceline the Matchmaker Queen?
by Playsintherainicorn
Summary: Finn arrives at Marceline's door one day with Jake in tow, asking for help. EDIT: Retired, will not be continued. See authors note within for further details.
1. Help?

**24 May 2013 - AN:** I apologize, but I have decided to retire this fanfiction. It will not be completed, it will not be continued, what is here is all that will ever be here. For the sake of anyone who might like this, I will leave it here. If you would like to contact me about this fic or about anything, please check my profile page for details.

Thank you.

* * *

Marceline sat on her couch – or, technically, floated above it – gently strumming the strings of her guitar. Her long black hair brushed the seat below her, and she flicked her head to one side in irritation. She was about to begin playing when a knock interrupted her. Looking up, she saw the edge of a white hat through the window, bouncing slightly. Setting her guitar down on the couch, she floated over to the door and opened it, looking down on Finn with a crooked smile. "What's shaking, baby?" She purred, grinning over at Jake who glared at her openly. Returning her attention to Finn, she noticed that he was bouncing up and down slightly. One of her eyebrows slid upwards, silently questioning his poorly contained excitement. He beamed at her, practically shouting "I need your help with something!" Marceline tilted her head, amused as she asked "What with?"

Surprisingly, he stopped bouncing and blushed a bright shade of red, making her even more curious about why he was here. "Umm…" he avoided Marceline's questioning gaze, biting his lip as he muttered "Bubilshm wa to gut me…"

The vampire stared at him. "Bubblegum wants to gut you? As in kill you?" she laughed, wondering what the hell was going on. Finn's eyes widened as he waved his hands in front of him.

"No! No!" He sighed, looking away before he said "Bubblegum wants to go out with me." She floated silently for a second before crossing her arms and smiling her trademark smug smile. "And what, exactly, does that have to do with me?"

Finn hesitated, staring off to one side, while Jake shook his head in the background. "Bubblegum wants to go to this dance with me, and I think it's a date, but I'm not sure what to do or what to wear…" He paused, obviously embarrassed to be talking about it.

Reluctantly, Jake stepped in on his behalf. "I tried to give him advice but he wants _your_ help because you're a girl. Technically."

Marceline laughed, her fangs flashing in the fading light. "I see." Shaking her head, she turned and floated inside, her long black hair trailing behind her. When she didn't hear any footsteps, she turned back to see the human still standing on her doorstep, his bear-eared hat dappled with shadows. "Are you coming in, or not?" Her question seemed to confuse him even more.

"So… You _will_ help me?"

Rolling her eyes, she replied "Duh, weenie. Otherwise I would have closed the door." Her answer seemed to wake him up a bit, as he entered her house with Jake trailing behind. He removed his green backpack, putting it beside the couch as he sank into it gladly. Ignoring the vampire, Jake went and sat in the corner, keeping a wary eye on his friend. Satisfied, she closed the door, floating over to rest beside Finn on the couch. Lifting a jet black eyebrow, she watched him, her curiosity mounting.

He was clean enough – well, for Finn anyway – and his hat seemed to have been washed at some point in the last couple of weeks. There were some fresh cuts and grazes on his knuckles and knees, but that was nothing new. He looked healthy enough, and there were no dark circles around his eyes to indicate any problems sleeping. _Bonnibelle must have asked him just this morning._

Snapping out of her thoughts, she noticed that Finn hadn't even realized she'd been silent for a full minute. He seemed far away, his eyes distant. Suddenly, his eyes moved, and he turned to face her. They looked each other in the eye for a second, before he grinned half-heartedly.

"Sorry. Guess I'm a bit distracted." Marceline smiled in response.

"Okay, weenie," she began, rewarded with a small frown at her use of the name, "why don't you start from the beginning?"

Finn sighed, staring off to one side. There was a long pause, and Marceline was about to ask again when he began.

"Bubblegum wanted Jake and I to come over for a party the Candy Kingdom was holding in celebration of Stanley's birthday. When we got there, she asked me to come into the lab - something about a project she'd been working on. Her lab looked normal to me - full of potions and other stuff I'm not allowed to touch because I usually end up breaking it. Anyway, I asked her what she wanted me to help with, and she didn't say anything for a second. Then she turned and asked me out." Finn shook his head, as if still in denial that it actually happened.

"What did she say?" The vampire asked, wondering why Bonnibelle had changed her mind about Finn all of a sudden.

"Well, she said that she had 'underestimated me' and that she had 'realized that she should give me a chance.'"

Marceline frowned. "That's all she said?" He nodded, and her frown deepened slightly. Shaking it off, she scratched her ankle through the gap between her jeans and her boots. "So, what are you two going to do on this date?" He confirmed what she had already guessed, a candlelight dinner and dancing. Sometimes, Bonnibelle was a little bit _too_ predictable.

Finn watched as she went and fetched a small table from her kitchen, along with two chairs, a tablecloth, and a candle. She lit the candle, then got two glasses, some tomato juice, two plates, and two sets of cutlery. Setting everything out neatly, she poured them each a glass of juice, then sat on the chair furthest from the sofa. He was surprised to see her actually sit in the chair, not just float above it.

Smiling at him, she gestured to the chair opposite her. "Let's begin."


	2. Awkward Dining

Finn groaned as he knocked over his glass, the scarlet liquid sliding out over the snow white tablecloth. The red against the white looked slightly eerie, and he looked away as he stood up to get a cloth. Marceline watched him disappear into the kitchen, then turned to look at Jake, who had come in to watch at some point during the lesson. She smiled at him, and was rewarded with narrowed eyes and a scowl.

"Has he ever dated _anyone_ before?" Marceline asked, raising her eyebrow as if she already knew the answer. Well, she practically did. This was Finn, after all. Jake's expression confirmed her answer even before he replied.

"No. He hasn't." Jake paused. "How much longer are you planning to keep him here?"

The Vampire Queen raised a jet black eyebrow. "That sounds dangerously close to an accusation." Shrugging, she toyed with her fork as she replied. "Depends on how long it takes him to get to the point where he won't end up making a fool of himself."

Jake sighed. "Tell Finn I'll see him back at the treehouse."

She watched him disappear out the door, amused that after all this time he was still affected that much by her presence. Turning slightly, she looked down at the spilt liquid, licking her stone cold lips.

Finn wasn't really all that surprised when he returned to the room to find the stain a steel grey rather than its original crimson hue, drained of all its colour. He wiped the mess up with a wet cloth, then chucked it back in the bucket before sitting back down. He was about to ask why Marceline was sitting in her chair rather than floating above it when he paused, realizing that Jake was missing. Turning to face Marceline, he saw her picking at a nail, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

"Jake left. He's gone back to the treehouse." Once again, he wasn't too surprised. Jake hadn't exactly been happy when Finn had suggested going to Marceline for help.

_"Dude!" Jake cried, his eyes widening in disbelief. "What makes you think **she** could help? Last time she tried to help you with Bubblegum, you ended up getting banned from the Candy Kingdom!"_

_"You weren't much help either."  
_

_Finn hesitated when he saw Jake's eyes narrow. Holding up his hands to fend off his friends glare, he tried to argue the idea._

_"Look, even if she is an ancient vampire, she's still a girl - and her age means she actually has more experience than both of us combined! You..." He paused, trying to choose the right words._

_"... aren't going to be able to help much - Lady Rainicorn and Princess Bubblegum are different when it comes to that sort of thing -"_

_Jake interrupted him excitedly, "hey, what about Lady? She knows the Princess better than anyone!"_

_Silence followed his suggestion, followed by a sigh._

_"Look, Jake, Lady might know the Princess, but so do I. I doubt that Lady's gone on a date with Princess Bubblegum."_

_"Neither has Marceline!"_

_"I know, but rainicorns don't date! At least, not in the way humans... candy people... vampires... whatever. They don't date the way Bubblegum does, and Marceline's probably been on that sort of date before."_

_Once again, the treehouse went silent. For a moment, Beemo's beeping was the only sound in the treehouse as he watched the two friends argue, a small worried frown on his screen._

_"... Alright, you have a point. But I still don't like this."_

Finn stared at his plate, lost in his memories, wondering if maybe Jake was right. _But if Marceline can't help me, who can?_

"This is useless. I'm never going to get the hang of this." He sighed, obviously irritated that they hadn't managed to make it through one 'meal' without him messing up.

Marceline tilted her head slightly. "You haven't made that many mistakes. In fact, up until you knocked over the glass, you hadn't made any mistakes that time." She didn't add the 'yet' that followed in her thoughts. ... But looking at Finn's face, she didn't need to.

"Look," she began reluctantly, "if PB asked you out, she obviously must care about you, and if she cares about you, I doubt that she's going to care that you spilled a drink."

"I know," Finn murmured, his face scrunched up with worry, "but I still want to impress her, I don't want her to think it was a mistake to ask me out…" He paused, looking up at Marceline in surprise. "Wait, since when are you nice?"

He regretted adding that last part, withering under the weight of her glare. There was a long, awkward pause, Finn's words hanging in the air. Then she stood, beginning to clear up the plates.

"I think that's enough for one night." She spoke crisply, snapping the words off with her fangs. "Come back tomorrow at sunset and we can continue. Don't be late."

Finn watched sheepishly as she disappeared into the kitchen, wishing he hadn't said anything. He stood, pausing to wait for her before he realized she had left through the back door to go exploring. Frowning, he turned and let himself out.

* * *

_**AN:**_ Sorry for the delay, when I got back to school almost every one of my teachers smiled before handing me an assignment. Yay school. Anyway, hopefully next chapter Finn will learn to take his foot out of his mouth before speaking. And Marceline will be a little less… Um… Well. Touchy? –gets attacked by an angry vampire with a red bass guitar axe- Joking! I think I have a habit of writing small chapters at the moment. I don't like small chapters. However, it does keep me updating more often. I have three reviews! Yeay me! If you're reading this story and want more, you tell me which you'd prefer. Short chapters and frequent updates, or long chapters and less frequent updates. Tell you what, short chapters I'll do once a week, and long chapters once a fortnight. Approximately. Don't hold me to that. Your choice. Let me know, I do so love people giving me advice and feedback!

Have a lovely day! :D

Rai. xoxo


	3. Bonnibelle

_**28/5/12 - AN**:_ Hi, Rain here,

I've been unbelievably busy as half-term is when pretty much the entire school piles on the work. In the last week i've had one research paper, two reports, a speech, a book review, and four videos due in, in addition to the work cracking down on the Environmental Council due to our efforts being analyzed, the end of the debating year, painting sets for the school production and library duty in my schools library. So understandably, i've got a lot on my plate. However, i've already handed in everything but my last report, my speech and my reading log, so by the end of this week I will again have spare time and I PROMISE that I will update with not one, but TWO chapters this weekend. So, until then!

- Rai. xoxo

* * *

Finn waited by the door, his knock still echoing in his ears. Looking around, he noticed a few plants hiding around the cave Marceline's house sat in. The cave was mostly dark, the water lapping quietly at the edges of the shoreline. Hearing a click, Finn turned in time to see Marceline open the door. She nodded at him, turning to go back inside, Finn following behind her.

He blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the light in the room, noticing that a table was set up in the same spot as last time. The tablecloth was a new one - and this time it was black rather than white. Apart from that, the set up was really the same. A candle, plates and cutlery, glasses, and a jug of tomato juice. Marceline appeared from the kitchen with a bowl, which she set on the edge of the table. Going over to her, Finn looked into the bowl with surprise.

"You _cooked_?"

Marceline laughed, one side of her mouth curling higher than the other as the laugh faded into a small grin.

"How else are we going to practice your eating skills? I don't know if you've noticed, but you eat like a toddler."

Finn frowned, and was about to deny the fact when he realized that she was right. _And besides,_ he thought, _I think I should be more careful with what I say around her after yesterday._ Marceline's smile stiffened a little as she sat in her chair, almost as if she'd heard his thought.

Sitting down, Finn commented on the colour of the tablecloth.

"Well", Marcie said as she began to serve them the spaghetti, "I figured after yesterday it was safer not to use white. I had to throw that one out because it was stained." Seeing him frown, she smiled gently. "Don't worry about it weenie, I barely ever use tablecloths anyway. Bonnibelle gave to me ages ago. Said my house could use a little more decoration.

Shaking her head, she poured herself a glass of tomato juice and drank deeply. Finn watched her as she wiped the back of her mouth, pushing away the niggling suspicion that there was more to that story than the vampire was letting on.

"So, first things first. Your table manners. Elbows _off._"

Finn looked down at his elbows, blushing as he took them off the table. Marceline grinned wolfishly, and he suddenly had the feeling this was going to be a long day. Scooping some of the spaghetti up with his fork, he shovelled it into his mouth, then noticed that Marceline was looking at him with her eyebrow raised. Finn stared at her for a second before spitting it back onto the plate.

Marceline's only response was to cross one arm while half-smacking her face with the other. "What have I got myself into?" She mumbled, only just loud enough for Finn to hear.

* * *

Three hours later Finn buried his face in his stone cold spaghetti. "Marceline," he mumbled through the pasta sauce, "can we _please_ stop now?"

Silence followed. After about ten seconds, Finn lifted his head to see an empty chair. Sitting up, he frowned.

"Marceline?"

"What?"

Finn turned to see her come down the stairs with a wet towel. Handing it to him, she began clearing the table, draining the last of his tomato juice with a gulp. Apparently, Marceline wasn't as repulsed by sharing food and drink like Princess Bubblegum. Finn sighed as he began to clean his face with the towel. Three _hours_ and all he felt that he'd accomplished was a wish to never see a plate or cutlery again. Maybe Jake would make burritos for dinner if he asked nicely.

Going over to the sink, Finn began to wash the towel, watching the red pasta sauce drain down into the hole. Reaching for the detergent, he filled the sink with hot water and started doing the dishes. He scrubbed the plates mechanically, not noticing the scalding water as it seared his hands a bright pink. Setting the last glass on the metal bench, he got a tea towel from the cupboard, drying the dishes and putting them away. Absent-mindedly, he wondered why Marceline had cutlery and washing detergent if she never ate. _I mean, she drains shades of red, but that doesn't necessarily involve food. Does it? Does Marceline even need food?_

Giving up, he put the dishes away and went back into the lounge. The table and chairs had been folded and set against the wall, obviously waiting until tomorrow. Groaning inwardly at the thought of spending another three hours with Marceline constantly interrupting him and correcting his eating habits, he sat down on the couch.

Marceline floated over in the corner, her legs bent beneath her slightly as she fiddled with the dials on her axe guitar, her eyes closed in concentration. Faint screeching noises reached his ears as she tuned it gently, somehow knowing the exact pitch each one had to be at.

They were both silent for a while, Finn just watching as she tuned her guitar.

After about ten minutes, Marceline moved, putting the guitar against the wall. Finn blinked, surprised to find that he'd nearly fallen asleep. The vampire floated over to him, 'sitting' next to him with her arms crossed.

"How did I do?" Finn asked nervously, knowing that she'd be completely honest.

He could see her signature half-smile tug at the corner of her lips. "When is your date again?"

Finn groaned, sinking back with his eyes closed. "Who am I kidding, this is _never_ going to work. Not in time for my date with Bonni-" He froze, eyes snapping open.

Finn and Marceline were silent for a moment before she burst into laughter. Finn grinned, watching her as she floated off the couch, clutching her ribs.

"You've been around me too much, weenie." She barked, her fangs clearly visible as she laughed loudly. Finn chuckled quietly, mostly because he'd never seen Marceline laugh so much before.

Slowly she began to calm down, wiping at the corner of her eye as she stopped laughing. Sighing with a smile, she shook her head at the adventurer. "You did pretty well, actually, especially considering your manners when we started. We've still got a week and a half. I'll beat you into shape by then. Metaphorically, of course."

Finn's eyes widened slightly with surprise. "You seriously think i'll be ready by then?"

Marceline set a hand on his shoulder. "Totes."

There was a small pause before she grinned, chuckling to herself as she drifted into her kitchen. "_Bonnibelle._"

* * *

**AN:** I enjoyed writing that chapter. From what I remember Finn's manners aren't too bad, but then again, we don't exactly see him eat much on the show - and besides, he is 13. I have a thirteen year old brother, and his manners are atrocious. He shovels food into his mouth like he hasn't eaten for a month!

Remind me not to make that comparison again for the rest of the fan fiction. XD

Anyway, I was surprised to log on today and find that I had 13 reviews! Several people have subscribed to my story, and one person even added me to their author alert! I feel so honoured!

Thank you so much for your kind words, and feel free to make any suggestions - I actually got a couple of ideas just reading some of your reviews.

I said I was going to wait until the weekend for the update, but I ended up staying home from school today, so I though I'd get it done now. If you're lucky, I might just update again this weekend as well. It really depends on whether we go up to my grandparents or not, which my parents are considering due to it being a long weekend. I might just update anyway! ;)

Until next time, bright blessings!

Rai. xoxo


	4. Mirror Image

Finn walked through Marceline's doorway, yawning. _Day four. Will I really be ready by next week?_ Jake had tried to talk him out of his lessons last night over burritos, saying that he could teach him what he needed to know, that Marceline had got him in trouble last time she tried to help. Remembering Princess Bubblegum's face when she realized Finn had let wolves loose in her bedroom, Finn winced. Why he ever thought that was a good idea… _Better than the lute suit though. Just._ Looking around, he noticed that the table and chairs were still leaning against the wall as they had been when he left yesterday afternoon.

Finn turned towards Marceline, who was standing beside him. "Want some help setting up the chairs?" He was surprised to see Marceline's half-smile appear.

"We're not practicing your table manners today weenie. There's more to your date with Bonnibelle than eating, remember?"

Finn realized with a start that Marceline had replaced her usual jeans and boots with a long black skirt and tiny shoes that were… pink? Seeing his reaction to the shoes, she sighed.

"I've had them sitting in the back of my closet for decades. Mum gave them to me when I was a little girl, but pink has never been my thing."

Avoiding his questioning glance, Marceline took Finn's bag and put it next to the couch, bringing out a coat from a tuxedo. Giving it to Finn, she glided over to the stereo and turned it on, pulling a face as it began to play ballroom music. Finn put on the coat and walked over to her, watching as she took his hands and put one around her waist, holding the other out to her side. Planting her feet on the ground, she looked Finn in the eye.

"First we're going to learn the waltz."

She showed him the movements, which he picked up easily, much to their surprise. Within minutes he'd picked up the basics, and they began to move on to the more elaborate moves.

As they were practicing one particularly difficult move involving a twirl and quick footwork, Finn asked Marceline about the coat.

"That old thing? Ash left it behind when he moved out. I ended up keeping it, just in case I ever got a cat and needed something to line the litter box with." She grinned, displaying her fangs.

"What about the dancing? I wouldn't have thought you'd cared about this sort of thing."

Marceline shrugged. "I don't, really. Just sort of picked it up here and there."

Confused about her evasive reply, Finn accidentally stepped on Marceline's foot.

"Careful, if you step on Bonnibelle's foot she'll chuck you out of Candy Kingdom for life."

Finn began to worry before he saw her grin and realized she was joking.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Marceline turned off the stereo, sighing with relief as she took off the shoes and began to float. "I haven't used my feet that much in ages. I swear those shoes are smaller than I remember."

"I don't know which is worse, eating or dancing." Finn sank back onto her couch, yawning.

Smiling, she went into the kitchen to grab them both a drink. Taking two glasses out of the fridge, she filled one with tomato juice from the fridge, draining it of colour before refilling it and placing the juice back in the fridge. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she was in the process of filling the other glass with water for Finn when she looked up at the glass cupboards and froze.

A black figure floated next to her, featureless and menacing. Looking around, she saw no one. Slowly, reluctantly, she turned back towards the glass, dreading what she'd see in the reflection. But there was nothing there. Frowning, she blinked a couple of times, sure that she'd seen…

"Marceline?"

Finn was standing in the doorway, watching her worriedly. Marceline looked down to see the tap still running, the water pouring over the rim of the glass, over her pale skin and into the sink.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She muttered as she turned the tap off, tipping a little bit of the water out before handing it to the human. She grabbed her own glass and emptied it in one gulp, before realizing that she had drunk the liquid without draining it of colour first. _Shit._

Sighing, she looked back at Finn to see him still watching her.

"I'm fine, Finn, stop being such a weenie. You're not the only one who gets tired, you know." She pushed past him, ignoring the concerned expression on his face. Walking upstairs, she turned on the top step to face him.

"Go home. Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

* * *

Finn watched quietly as Marceline disappeared upstairs, wondering what in the name of Ooo was going on with her at the moment.

* * *

**AN:** Before I write any more chapters, I might go back and edit the ones i've already published. I feel that they're lacking description and need fleshing out - i'm doing my trick that I used to do back when I was nine where I get so involved in the story I forget to set the scene. That annoys me more than you can imagine.

Especially that first chapter. Eugh. I'm editing that as soon as possible. Reading it makes me ashamed to have my name on that chapter.

Also I think I have a clearer idea of where i'm going with this now... But I think this is still quite a rough piece of work overall, i'm mostly practicing my skills on this story. It seems like I need all the practice I can get. D:

Until the next chapter!

Rain. xoxo


	5. Goodbye

**24 May 2013 - AN:**

I apologize, I realize this is against the community guidelines, but I just wanted to let those following this story know that it will be discontinued. See the AN attached to the first chapter for details.

This will be deleted within a month.

Thank you.


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